He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
My pussy is not your playground.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
