I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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