the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
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