I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
