Little spoons don't ask big questions
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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