The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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