I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
