party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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