do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Randomize