Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
