dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
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