I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Randomize
