i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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