we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Randomize
