I want to stick my p in your. b.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize