What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Randomize
