Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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