Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
