Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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