you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
Randomize
