Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
