A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Randomize
