Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
