i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
