if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize