not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
