sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
It's just like the Real World with babies
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
Drunk is not a location!
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
