The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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