Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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