I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
