So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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