Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
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