quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
