I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
