i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
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