So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize