I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
