Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
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