I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
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