is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
whose ass print is on the piano?
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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