handjob tips. give me some.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
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