Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
