How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
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