I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
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