whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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