He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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