so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
