Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
my poor anus
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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