first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Just invented taco cereal.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Randomize
