So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
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