we're blogging at a bar
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Randomize
