how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
