why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
