people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
I deserve this hangover.
Randomize
