i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I want to be your penis for a week.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
