i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
