You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
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