508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
They are going to name an STD after you.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Randomize
