I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
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